5/31/07 12:18 PM

It's not a laundry room. It's a clothes care center.

5/26/07 3:14 PM

It kind of scares me that the same company that makes my asparin makes my weed killer.

5/23/07 8:58 PM

For my birthday all I want is enough Patron to keep me numb for a month or two.

5/22/07 1:19 PM

The men heard in the film are remarkably honest about their motivations. One of them argues "mammal to mammal" love should not be seen as wrong.

Yeah! It's those sick fucks abusing fish we should be worried about!

5/21/07 5:45 PM

What does David Hasselhoff have to be so depressed about? They love him in Germany.

5/20/07 5:29 PM

I will not have the worst lawn on the street. With God as my witness, I shall mow soon.

Testing

Testing

Testing

Testing

5/16/07 9:18 AM

She has a body like a Ferrari and a face like Lo-Jack.

5/16/07 7:59 AM

Frankly I don't see what's so strange about wanting to be buried at sea in shark infested waters.

5/15/07 12:02 AM

Solving a problem you are responsible for creating does not make you a hero.

Test

Test

5/13/07 4:19 PM

And on the 8th day, God created Roomba.

5/11/07 2:38 PM

Wal Mart's greatest threat is not to small business. It is that something about the store causes people to lose the ability to drive if they are within half a mile of it.

Test

Test

Test

Test

5/10/07 10:27 AM

Most dogs turn around before they lay down.

Mine does it while he takes a dump.

5/10/07 6:59 AM

People that can't tell the difference between Spaces.live.com and myspace.com scare me.

5/9/07 12:05 PM

If it comes out of a vending machine, it's a single serving, no matter what it says on the back of the package.

5/1/07 4:05 PM

You know you need help when people hear your life story and think you made it up and are actually writing a novel.

5/8/07 11:17 AM

You have to wonder about a woman who shrugs off Phil Spector forcing her at gunpoint to underess and get in bed with him as being ok because he was "just drunk".

5/5/2007 7:02 PM

I can't decide what is stranger: Having a national holiday to celebrate a military victory over the French, or the fact the whole world seems to give a damn who the next President of France will be.

5/5/07 1:22 PM

Giving your grandmother a male stripper for Mothers Day is bad form in most cultures.

5/5/07 9:13 AM

I hate celibacy

5/5/07 7:41 AM

Paris Hilton is going to jail. Am I the only one that thinks we'll soon see her in a lesbian prison sex home video?

5/3/07 8:51 PM

Really, if you are going to steal a bike to ride around town, you need to make sure it's not a girl's bike.

Well, unless you're a girl.

5/3/07 9:18 AM

Why on earth would a woman pay good money to have a naked stranger rub his dick on her when every time I do the same thing at the grocery store they call the cops?

5/2/07 7:30 PM

I want a special, extra cold, refrigerator just for my Shiner.

5/2/07 12:59 AM

I may not be a theologian, but I know there are 3 things God hates:

Florida
New Orleans
Trailer Parks

5/1/07 9:48 PM

Damn Joan Baez is fucking depressing.

5/1/07 10:09 AM

I am extremely curious as to what name could be so bad a person would choose to go by the initials "T. P.".