5/25/08 8:08 PM

I have yet to call the people at Allied Waste, but I am fairly certain that even on bulk pick-up day they will not haul off that piece of shit Toyota that has been parked behind the dumpster for the last month.

4/29/08 6:58 AM

Why are the dreams I have right before I wake up always bad?

4/19/08 10:48 AM

Being angry at everyone in the building because they politely asked your new live-in girlfriend not to park in the covered spots they paid for kind of makes you a dick.

2/12/08 10:56 PM

Dave's Mom wears army boots.

2/11/08 8:34 PM

For what therapists charge you should get a happy ending.

11/20/07 1:21 PM

Why is it that bad news sucks just as bad in person as by phone or email?

10/10/07 2:24pm

If they can tell I should have dialed a 1 first, why can't they just ignore that I didn't and put the call through?

10/11/07 10:58 AM

Secretaries are either god's gift or satan's spawn. I can't decide which.

9/21/97 10:19 AM

Its odd to me that people cam blow you off for days on end and then wonder why you don't jump when they call.

8/31/07 11:55 AM

Ever notice that a cute brat is less annoying than an ugly one?